56 Counting
A/N: my attempt to get inside the heads of small children - I'll let you judge my success!
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Annie: 1, 2... ‘Two’ rhymes with ‘shoe’. And ‘blue’. This is ‘true’! I don’t like numbers. They’re just squiggly shapes that don’t mean anything by themselves. I prefer words. Words are fun. Like ‘squiggly’. It sounds like something all twisted up then stretched out. Like the worms in the garden when we dig them up by mistake. They squiggle up in the shock and surprise of finding themselves suddenly in the open air.
Pete: Three, four... Why do I have to write the numbers as words? Numbers are numbers! That’s the point. Words are weird. ‘For’, ‘four’, ‘fore’ - they all sound the same but they mean different things. And you have to know how to spell them all! But 4 is always half of 8 and the square of 2 and the square root of 16. Give me numbers. I know where I am with numbers.
Sean: 5, six... Alive sticks! Sticks that are alive! Like a snake lying very still along a branch, waiting for a bird or a lizard to come along. Snakes are very patient. Look! I’m being a snake lying on the branch! Oh... I didn’t mean to knock all those things on the floor... I’ll stop being a snake and use my hands to pick them up...
Maisie: seven... 8... Why was six afraid? Because seven ate nine! What’s Sean doing now? He’s such a pain. What do snakes have to do with anything? I like 8. It’s round and comfortable looking, like my Nan. Two little loops. If it was on its side, it would look like eyes. Standing up like that, it’s like a snowman. I’m going to write another 8. And another... eight 8’s!
Jo: 9, 10... Double figures! My brother was 10 the other day. He went around all day saying, ‘I’m a big boy; I’m in double figures!’. Even Mummy got fed up with him in the end and nearly lost her temper. Mummy never loses her temper. I think it’s because of those little pills she takes. They make her mind all soft and kind, like marshmallows.
Tamara: 11, 12... ‘Eleven’ rhymes with ‘seven’ and ‘heaven’. ‘Twelve’ rhymes with... This is a tricky one... Oh, ‘delve’, of course! ‘Shelve’, too. I’ll delve for rocks then display them on my shelve. Ha, ha! No one in this class would understand that joke, not even the teacher, I bet. I’m completely wasted here. I must speak to my parents about moving schools. Maybe this time they’ll take notice of me...
Stan: Thir-teen... Forteen... No... Fo...U...rteen... Spelling is hard. Why can’t all the words that sound the same be spelled the same? But numbers are hard, too. I understand adding but not timesing. Too add free is five but two times free is... something else... And takeaways... Free take away to is... one...? But free divided by two...? Oh, that should be three and two... I’ll have to start again, now...
Charlie: 15, fifteen, 16, sixteen... Fifteen is three times five, sixteen is two times eight or four times four. If I have fifteen sweets and two friends, we all get five each. But if I have three friends... What happens then? Some people will get more sweets than others. That isn’t fair! Fifteen isn’t a fair number. If I have sixteen sweets and three friends, we all get four each. But if I have FOUR friends...
Gemma: Seventeen, eighteen... My cousin is eighteen. She had a BIG party but I couldn’t go because it was only for grown-ups. BOOORING. Grown-ups' parties are always boring. They don’t even have party games. Or jelly! How can you have a party without any jelly?! When I’m eighteen, I’m going to have eighteen kinds of jelly at my party. She did have a pretty dress, though...
Alex: 19, 20... Except for the 1 in 19, 19 and 20 are very curvy numbers. I like curves more than straight edges. My cat is very curvy. She wraps herself around things, like Mummy’s ankles when she’s trying to wash up, or my head when I’m going to sleep. Mummy says it’s un-hi-jee-nick but it helps me sleep. She purrs really gently and I just drift off...